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Post by Rebel on Mar 21, 2014 15:12:15 GMT -5
How about we go back to some more wholesome humour.
Jokes that are not sexist, any kind of phobic, more like ones that you could repeat in front of your seven year old niece and not get grief from a nunn about.
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Post by arcanum70 on Mar 21, 2014 16:20:35 GMT -5
Okay, some of my favorite physics jokes from when I was in college.
A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."
This is apparently a true story. It took place just outside of Munich, Germany. Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."
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Post by craisin on Mar 21, 2014 16:38:50 GMT -5
What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop this crap!
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Post by craisin on Mar 31, 2014 15:49:00 GMT -5
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced a lot of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and his unusual diet tended to cause him to have bad breath.
This made him....
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Post by arcanum70 on Aug 10, 2014 17:23:05 GMT -5
Okay, time for some nerd humor.
Where do Velociraptors come from?
Velociraptor = Distraptor/Timeraptor.
Thank you...I'll be here all week, remember to try the veil and tip your waitress.
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Post by velociraptor on Jan 6, 2016 12:08:26 GMT -5
Lol
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Post by velociraptor on Jan 6, 2016 12:15:45 GMT -5
A husband called home during lunch the daughter answered, he asked can you put your mommy on? She replied mommy is upstairs with uncle Bob like every day your at work she said he's helping fix her back. The husband too a second to respond, sweetie tell your mommy that I've just pulled up and I'm home early then come back and tell me what happens. A few moments pass and she comes back. "Well?" Well mommy went all crazy ran around slipped and hit her head really hard on the bedpost and uncle Bob jumped out the window into the pool, I don't think he knew you drained it and I think he's dead. "Pool?.....wait is this ###-####?" No......" I'm sorry wrong number"
Sorry I had the joke better worded before lol
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Post by velociraptor on Jan 11, 2016 0:25:09 GMT -5
Here's a joke ...lol read an e ton wiring diagram they are oh so great.....
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Post by Attorney on May 28, 2016 16:18:23 GMT -5
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Post by Rebel on Jun 20, 2016 14:48:35 GMT -5
Kids today wouldn't even know what that is.
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jmkjr72
contributing staff
Commander 132nd Northern Cav. Division
Posts: 2,779
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Post by jmkjr72 on Jun 20, 2016 18:15:15 GMT -5
My son is the oddity. He must have been in the 6th grade and said he had to go online to research for a report. I said nope and showed him the encyclopedia set it was on a president. The teacher wasn't happy when his reference section didn't have any websites.
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Post by Rebel on Jun 21, 2016 1:03:36 GMT -5
Yeah, the teacher probably don't know what a Funk and Wagnel is. And or is too lazy to check out paper references, want to just click a link.
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Post by terrilee on May 11, 2017 8:07:24 GMT -5
this happened at a home depot store
the clerk checking people out noticed a native american, in full regalia, a couple people back in line. When the native got to the checkout, the kid noticed he had 20 bags of potting soil. so the kid asks you plan on doing a lot of gardening . the native says::: Heck NO IM BUYING BACK MY COUNTRY, BUT THIS TIME I GOT A Fing RECEIPT!!!!
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Post by jojoba on Jun 28, 2019 15:02:30 GMT -5
good post
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